Revealing affair from 15 years ago backfires on Pearl River man

Having an extramarital affair often has a way of destroying a marriage. Especially if it took place fifteen years ago, and the husband, for whatever reason, decides to wait until now to bring it up.

Connie Davis, Pearl River, didn't take the delayed news of her husband's affair too lightly, and so, after a brief argument, she "pulled out a gun loaded with bird shot and fired five times at her husband, hitting him twice, as he ran across the yard of their home." We know she means business, because the particular gun she used is a model known as "The Judge", and he ruled in favor of the plaintiff.

The St. Tammany Sheriff's Office, however, ruled in favor of the defendent, who had been "hit in the upper and lower back by two blasts before escaping." He ran away so fast that he didn't have time to grab his cell phone, "so he called into his workplace using a two-way radio and told co-workers that his wife was trying to kill him," and his "co-workers relayed the message to the Sheriff's Office." It doesn't sound like the guy's co-workers required a lot of convincing on the matter.

This guy might want to consider himself lucky. The last time I recall an extramarital affair getting this out of control, the wife sliced her husband's penis off and threw into a field. The fact that he got it re-attached and was later able to parlay the incident into a successful porn career is really detrimental to the trauma involved.

Mrs. Davis was booked on second-degree murder charges and is being held in lieu of $75,000 bail. Sheriff's Office spokesman George Bonnett sums up the reasoning behind the charge: "Pretty much any time you point a loaded gun at someone and pull the trigger, it's going to be attempted murder." Okay, well, you're the spokesman making a glaringly obvious statement, I guess you know what you're talking about!

For anyone who thinks Mrs. Davis is overreacting to the fact that her husband's affair was fifteen years ago, might I remind you of the Erich Segal novel, "Man, Woman, and Child"? The main character had a one-time affair years earlier as well, but it came back to haunt him when the woman died and there was no other living relative for the son he didn't know existed to turn to. Oh, yeah! If this story is updated to reveal the sudden arrival of a fifteen-year old on the Davis' doorstep, I won't be surprised. I'll still be laughing like hell, but I won't be surprised!