Goofballs steal gumball machine and coins

I've said this before, but it's worth repeating: Criminals is stupid. Here's further proof:

"A Kenner man apparently used the knowledge he gained from working for a Kenner businesswoman to break into her home through a doggie door and steal a gumball machine and coin-filled glass jar."

The dumb criminal is this story is Seth J. Gregerson, 21, who was booked with simple burglary. Ryan Thomas, 21, is his alleged accomplice. I'm sure he can be I.D.'d for certain, as the break-in was captured on surveillance video inside the home.

Okay, breaking into the home through the doggie door, that I can understand. In many ways, this can prove to be the most vulnerable point of entry in any home. Although I imagine it would be a hell of a struggle to squeeze through there, especially if you run into the family dog halfway. Anyway, the burglar is inside the house, and the first thing he grabs is a gumball machine from the den! What a weirdo! The second thing he grabs is a glass jar filled with $400 worth of coins from a bedroom closet! What a HUGE weirdo! And then he exits the same way he came in -- through the doggie door! The only thing that could make this burglary even stupider would be if Gregerson revealed that he only stole the jar of coins so he could release the gum from the gumball machine. Also, considering what $400 worth of coins, not to mention a bellyful of gumballs, must weigh, I'm not surprised these guys were apprehended so quickly.

"Gregerson was released from the Jefferson Parish Correctional Center in lieu of $20,000 bail. When reached Monday by phone, he did not deny any of the information in the police report. "I took my lick," he said. He did not explain the statement."

I think I know where he's going with that statement: he's subtly admitting that he did get one of those gumballs out of the machine, but was apprehended so quickly that he only got to take that one inaugural lick.