Kenner man arrested for waving things that should have stayed in his pockets

According to an extraordinary police report today, Richard Ezell of Kenner was arrested after he waved an open pocketknife and then exposed himself to neighbors after they accused his nephews of burglarizing a shed.

I'm quite certain that's not the way I would have reacted to that situation, especially considering the fact that I don't own a pocketknife!

Anyway, it was after the police were called to the scene that Ezell handed the knife over to his nephew. He then continued to yell at his neighbors and finally pulled his penis from his pants and began waving that at them. As a bonus amusement, neighbors videotaped all of Ezell's actions, which should make for startling evidence at the eventual trial!

Some people might question Ezell's sanity in this situation, but not me. Note that he had the good sense to hand over then knife BEFORE whipping out his penis and waving it around. That's damn good judgment, not something you would expect from a guy you suspect of fishing off the short end of the pier. Had Ezell been seriously crazy, the combined act of waving a pocketknife and a penis at the same time would surely have resulted in a bloody stump where a penis once sprung, if not making Ezell a surefire candidate for this year's Darwin Awards. But the man lives, his penis hangs mighty, and Ezell now takes residence at the Jefferson Parish Correctional Center in Gretna.

It's enough to put a smile on the end of one's penis.