How Not to Meet Women

Today's case study: Shannon House, 36, Picayune, Mississippi.

Unable to meet eligible women where he lives, Mr. House made the trek across state lines to Slidell, Louisiana, where he chose the Wal-Mart on Natchez Drive as a prime target area. No doubt this is one of the more elegant Wal-Marts in all of Louisiana, for the women who shop here have a tendancy to wear dresses while they shop, a far cry, naturally, from the extra-large stretch pants frequently worn by the women shopping at Wal-Mart in Metairie and Kenner.

Anyway, Mr. House discovered three different women at the Slidell Wal-Mart with whom he found attractive. During these pursuits, he followed each woman throughout the store, then "tried to take a picture up her dress as she bent over." The first woman was aware of his interest in her, but didn't reciprocate those feelings, and thus contacted the store's loss prevention officer and alerted police to his actions.

Mr. House later admitted to police that what he did "was stupid and I should not have done it." For his efforts, he was booked into St. Tammany Parish Jail and awarded three counts of video voyeurism with the possibility of being forced to register as a sex offender once he's released.

Better luck next time, Mr. House. For future reference, you might want to make the extended drive and try the two-story Target in Metairie, where you might be able to get away with faking a fainting spell while riding behind an attractive woman on the escalator.